


Hardenshipping Tumblr Fic Compilation

by alittleshitwithfeels



Category: Pocket Monsters: Omega Ruby & Alpha Sapphire | Pokemon Omega Ruby & Alpha Sapphire Versions
Genre: M/M, There are cuddles, but also shouting matches, denial isnt just a river in egypt, maxie smokes like a train
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 09:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8051443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittleshitwithfeels/pseuds/alittleshitwithfeels
Summary: Realized I had quite a few hardenshipping fics on my tumblr (somebodysaveniccolomachiavelli) and decided i should maybe post them here. All of these were written 2014-2015 and likely on too little sleep. Prompt will be part of the title.





	1. “Does it hurt when I touch it?”

**Author's Note:**

> May write more about these nerds if more drabble requests come in or I get a wild herring.

“Does it-?”

“No it doesn’t!” Archie snapped, yanking his hand away with a visible flinch. Maxie quirked a skeptical eyebrow.

“Right. And your hand is just swollen for no reason?”

“Let it go, Maxie, or I swear to Arceus….” Archie warned. Maxie snorted; the (former) Aqua leader was in no state to make threats. His tissue-packed nose still oozed blood and his right eye was swelled shut. And those were just the injuries on his face.

“Oh excuse me, I’ll just stop worrying and let you go to bed with a broken hand.”

Archie bared his teeth. “It isn’t broken!” The light cradle he had the hand in spoke volumes to the contrary.

Maxie sighed and barely resisted rubbing his temples. He considered snapping out a response, but instead pulled a bag of frozen fruit from the freezer and wrapped it in a cloth. “Put this on your hand.”

Archie took the fruit, but made no move to put it on his hand. “I told you, it isn’t broken.”

“It’s still swollen.” Maxie dug through the cupboards looking for something that would resemble a splint.

Archie fell silent and placed the frozen fruit on his hand. Maxie rolled up two old newspapers. He went over to Archie and moved his paramour’s arm into a ninety degree angle before splinting and wrapping it with gauze.

“It isn’t broken.”

“So you’ve said. Repeatedly. But the doctor will have the last say on that.”

“We’re not-!” Maxie silenced him with a glare. “Okay fine.” Archie paused. “How’d you know how to handle a broken (my hand is not broken though) hand?”

“I’ll answer if you promise to tell me what the hell happened.”

“Deal.”

Maxie smiled and adjusted his glasses. “I’m surprised you even need to ask. Always had a bit of a fiery temper; though, in my defense, they verbally harassed me first.”

Archie laughed. “You, Mr. Turtleneck, were a little delinquent? Well I’ll be damned.”

“Your turn.”

Archie shrugged and he rolled his eyes. “Some dumb bastards got too drunk for their own good and took an accidental bump too far.”

“And?”

“And because I’m who I am, things went downhill from there. Kinda lucky I didn’t get arrested….”

Maxie frowned and shook his head. “Why do I put up with you?”

“Because I put up with you.” Archie replied with a cheeky grin and an attempted wink (the fact one eye was swollen shut ruined the look).

“Mhmmm…. Well let’s get you to a hospital.”

Archie’s smile disappeared. “Wait. What?”

“Did you think that I was going to allow you to sleep on a broken hand? Or that I forgot you agreed to visit a doctor mere seconds ago?” Maxie said with an exasperated sigh.

“Maybe….”

Rolling his eyes, Maxie made for the door. “Hopeless.”

Archie followed, knowing better than to force the issue. “I love you too.”


	2. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt

Archie doesn’t remember when or where, but sometime in someplace, he heard the phrase “the opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s indifference”. He never quite understood what that was supposed to mean; hate seemed the obvious opposite of love. Hate was a negative, angry thing and love was a positive, happy thing. Indifference was… nothing.

Well, he didn’t understand it until he stared at packets of maps and reports of Team Magma activities.

There was far too much information.

He always knew Maxie as being subtle, never showing his hand until the very last moment when he was certain of his victory. Archie learned that after more than a few battles and games of chess. ( _Victory always seemed certain and then Maxie would chirp “checkmate” like the shit he was, is.)_  

It seemed to him that Maxie was revealing his plans far too early. Maybe he just missed the endgame, but there were far too many variables left.

Like that kid.  
Especially that kid.

Something was wrong with Maxie.  
Something was making him reckless.

Archie shook his head and read through the information again. Why should he care? This’ll make it easier for Team Aqua to swoop in and take out Magma for good.

But something was wrong with his rival.  
The little shitstain, son of a bitch bastard he’s hated and wanted to paint the town with since they’d worked together. Maxie was pompous, narcissistic, uptight, rude, a literal piece of shit  _and really not himself right now_.

Archie groaned, wiping his hand on his face. He wasn’t worried. No. Well yes (there still was that dumbass plan of land expansion), but he wasn’t worried about _Maxie_.

No.  
There was no way.  
But he didn’t want his enemy to go do something stupid and die or become someone else! He was already so invested in Maxie and criminal organizations worthy of rival status were impossible to come by.

 _Somebody_ had to make sure the bastard didn’t do something extra stupid….  
Archie and Team Aqua would just tail him. That way Archie could keep an eye on his  _enemy_ (Really. Enemy. Hate.) and be first in play to stop Team Magma’s plans.

Someone has to do that too. The kid was just in the right place at the right time at the museum and Mt. Chimney, no point to count on them. Besides, no child could take down a whole criminal organization!

So maybe the opposite of love really was indifference and not hate, but hate and love were still two very distinct things.  
Yes, very distinct.  
No possible way to confuse the two.


	3. Flirting Contest

Archie and Maxie had many dumb competitions in their years of knowing one another. One of the more notable ones happened in the honeymoon stage of rivalry- a classic ‘no, I hate you more’ fight which had quite the breathtaking finale of:

_“I hate ye so much I’d cut yer tongue out and feed it to me sharpedo, ye stinking rose smelling, flea ridden, rotten timbered, wurmple riddled, barnacle bottomed, landlubber!”_

_And then Maxie had leaned in close enough that their noses were touching and hissed out his reply. “Hate. Let me tell you how much I’ve come to hate you since I’ve known you. There are 90,000 miles of nerves in wafer thin strings that fill my body. If the word ‘hate’ was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those thousands of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for Team Aqua at this micro-instant. For you. Hate. Hate.”_

But what they were doing now was a new… something.

Maxie and Archie has their chests pressed together and were screaming the  _worst_ pick-up lines at one another because… Well, they hadn’t had a worst pick-up line competition.

It had started innocently enough; they were both way past tipsy and Archie slurred out a “Yer like the anti-fog spray for me goggles, ye brighten my day.”

And Maxie snorted with a flush that was ninety-percent due to alcohol before replying. “You are so gneiss that I could hardly ever take you for granite.”

After a few more of those, things went downhill into ‘I am so going to one-up you’ territory.

Maxie managed to puff out his chest even more and Archie somehow managed to mirror the display. “Be glad I’m a geologist because you can kiss me and feel the earthquake!”

Archie sneered. “Is that right? Well ye got yerself a good scabbard thar, what ye need is a cutlass and yer lucky, I have a great one.”

Maxie raised one finger in disagreement. “No, you have the magma chamber and I am the hot intrusive body!” 

Archie tossed his head back to laugh, but the movement made the room spin. He waited a beat for the world to re-orientate itself and Maxie stumbled back, under the assumption that he’d won.

“Told you I could out pick-up line you!”

“Hey! I get to pause for a moment, ye impatient shit!” Archie pitched forward slightly as he spoke. “I dunno if I wanna convict ye of being a hot wench anymore; ye don’t deserve to walk me plank.”

“But when our continents collide, you’ll feel the sudden craggy-” Maxie interrupted himself with a giggle. “Upthrust of our-” He started giggling again and Archie shuffled over.

“Me thinks it’s time for us ta sleep.” Maxie never giggled unless he was  _really_ tired.

Maxie waved a hand, giggles dying down. “No, I have to win just… I got this. You’ll feel the sudden craggy up,” he snorted, “upthrust of our brand-new mountain range in each of your oro-,” he started giggling uncontrollably again. Archie sighed and tossed an arm around his geologist.

“C'mon, I know yer tired.”

“No no no no!” Maxie sputtered between giggles. “In each of your oro- oh my Arceus- oro… orogen- Archie I swear I can do this- orogenous… orogenous zones!” He then erupted into another laughing fit.

Archie chuckled. “‘Kay, ya won. Now let’s get yer happy ass to bed.”

Maxie just nodded, now unable to stop laughing.


	4. Nothing like drowning to make a first impression

_‘Well this is stupid.’_

The thought screamed in Maxie’s skull as he tried, in vain, to claw his way to the surface. His lungs burned and felt fit to burst, but he couldn’t bring himself to spit out even the smallest bit of air to relieve the pressure. He needed it, right? Keeping it in would keep him alive longer, wouldn’t it?

Though he didn’t think he had much air; he had shoved most of it out in the initial panic.

_'Go use the diving board! It’ll be fun, Maxie! You can’t mope in the shade forever!’_

The chlorine stung his eyes as he kept them forced open to gauge where the surface was. The edges of his vision were starting to blur out into black and he felt as though he were being pressed from all sides.

_'Oh yes, drowning is so much fucking fun.’_

His chest and stomach heaved, wanting to draw air in but being unable to because of Maxie’s conscious decision not to open his mouth. One of his arms did a languid sweep through the water while his legs twitched in a pathetic parody of a kick.

Most of his vision was dark and it was growing hard to keep his eyes open.

_'I was just accepted into a great university….’_

Against his will, his mouth opened and water flooded his lungs. Something brushed his skin and he distantly registered the sensation of being pulled through the water before going unconscious.

-

Maxie rejoined the world and the first thing he was aware of was the fact someone had their lips pressed to his. He gave a weak cough and the person pulled away. Even with his absolutely terrible eyesight, Maxie could tell that this was a well-built, dark-skinned male.

He had the urge to punch the man- how dare he kiss him while he was unconscious- but his arm wouldn’t move and he remembered that he’d been drowning.

The stranger cracked a smile. “Yer gonna be fine.” He looked to someone outside of Maxie’s range of vision and said something Maxie didn’t catch because he was drifting off again.

-

The next time he woke up for an extended period of time, he was laying in a hospital bed. His mom heaved a sigh of relief from a nearby chair.

“Oh, Maxie, thank Arceus. I’m so glad that Archie boy was there; who knows what could’ve….” She shook her head. “But don’t worry about that! Just rest.”

Maxie nodded and closed his eyes, trying to remember the blurry image he got of this Archie.


	5. Archie and Maxie hate each other's music

“Archie, I swear to Arceus that I will summon Groudon again if I have to hear another method of dealing with a drunken sailor!” Maxie shouted, practically punching the stereo to turn it off. “How long are you planning on keeping up this pirate aesthetic anyway?”

Archie frowned. “Okay first, me music is way better than yer dumb music. Seriously, for a ground-type fanboy, ye like that one about defying gravity too much. Second, are ye suggestin’ that I’m not really a pirate?”

“ _Defying Gravity_ is a great song and musically superior to your repetitive drivel!” Maxie let one hand settle on his hip while the other made wild, agitated gestures. “And yes, I am suggesting that you’re not a pirate, because you aren’t!”

Archie stood, fists clenched. “Take that back!”

“Which part? The part about the fact your music is the worst thing ever or the part where I tell the truth about the fact you are not a pirate?” Maxie retorted.

“Both.”

“No.”

Archie bared his teeth and strode toward Maxie, who was also angrily moving forward.

“I don’t need to prove anythin’ to a nerd landlubber like you!” Archie and Maxie had barely a foot between them now. Maxie closed the distance to shout into Archie’s face.

“Why even ask me to take back an opinion then, Archie!”

“Because sometimes I actually value yer opinions, but it seems they’re super dumb when it comes to both music and pirates!”

Maxie tossed his head back and laughed. “Archie, have you ever attacked or stolen something from someone at sea?”

“Well no, but-!”

“Then you aren’t a pirate! Team Plasma were better pirates and they started out with a dumb knight motif!”

“Team Plasma were not better pirates! They didn’t have a water theme! They didn’t even talk using sea slang!”

“They had an actual ship, Archie.”

Archie pointed at Maxie in an accusatory manner. “I would’ve had a vessel if  _someone_ hadn’t’ve stolen it and painted it to be a dumb camerupt!”

“A submarine isn’t the same thing as a boat! And camerupts are not dumb!”

“Whoever heard of a swimming camerupt, Maxie?!”

“I hate the water, what other Pokemon was I going to get painted on the sub?”

Outside of the joint office, Shelly and Tabitha made a note to buy their bosses headphones as they listened to the argument devolve into basic name-calling; the same exact fight would happen again if the situation repeated itself.


	6. Maxie smokes like Mt. Chimney

“Archie, I’m heading to the mart to pick up cigarettes, do you want anything while I’m there?” Maxie called over his shoulder into the house, hand perched on the doorknob.

Archie came to the edge of the hallway and rested against the frame with his eyebrow cocked. “Cigarettes? You bought a pack yesterday, Maxie.”

“Well that pack is empty so I need a new one. Now, do you want anything from the store?”

Archie glanced away and sighed. Sensing that something was up, Maxie removed his hand from the door and turned around.

“Maxie, I think….” He took a steadying breath before making eye contact. “I think that maybe you should slow down with the smokin’. And by slow down, I mean quit.”

Maxie crossed his arms over his chest and raised a neat eyebrow. “What led you to that conclusion?”

“Yer up to a pack a day now, Maxie! Cigarettes aren’t good for you if you just smoke one, let alone twenty!” Archie moved off the wall.

Maxie inclined his chin. “Are you implying that I have a problem? Because I assure you that I don’t.”

“D'you hear how ridiculous you sound? I just stated that you smoke twenty cigarettes a day and you wanna say that you don’t have a problem?”

Maxie scoffed. “I know myself, Archie. I would know if I had a problem.”

Archie huffed in frustration. Why did Maxie have to be so fucking stubborn? He cracked a small smile when an idea popped into his head. “Well, Great Maxie, if you don’t have a problem, just quit right now.”

Maxie blinked in surprise. “What?”

“You heard me. Just quit.” Archie replied with a flippant hand gesture. “Stay home with me.”

Maxie dropped his gaze to the floor and tightened his arms. “I….” His voice faltered before he forced his chin up and arms down. In that moment he was the image of false bravado. “What in Arceus’ name would that prove, Archie?”

Archie grinned. “Couldn’t do it, could ya?”

“I could!” Maxie insisted, almost trying to convince himself more than Archie. His fingers twitched; he needed a cigarette (wanted, he corrected himself; he didn’t _need_ anything).

“Then do it.”

“I… I just don’t want to.”

“Sure, Maxie.” Archie rolled his eyes. “Why quit when you could keep puffing on cancer sticks? I mean it smells amazing. Man, I love how the scent lingers on everything. Also, I fucking love making-out with an ashtray; highlight of my day, to be honest.”

Maxie deflated and hugged himself to stop his twitching fingers. “Fine. I wouldn’t be able to do it. I  _can’t_ do it.”

Archie softened his smile and stepped closer. “I wouldn’t’ve thought that ‘can’t’ was in the Great Maxie’s vocabulary. But it certainly isn’t in mine so I’m gonna help you quit!”

Maxie winced as if Archie’s optimism hurt him. “Archie, I’ve always been a smoker due to the stresses of daily life. I let my smoking habit get out of hand because I want to fend off the desire to hurl myself off a cliff. I nearly destroyed everything, Archie!” He lifted his glasses to scrub his suddenly damp eyes.

Archie’s smile faded as he drew Maxie into his arms.

“I do not want to add withdrawal depression and suicidal thoughts to the mess I already have. I do not want to do something stupid.” Maxie rested his head in the crook of Archie’s neck.

Archie gently tightened his grip. “Maxie, you forget that I nearly ruined everything too. I’m sure Leah wouldn’t mind seeing the two of us.”

“Leah?”

“One on my grunts. They had just gotten their degree in psychology before falling for my dumb scheme. They’ve been great at keeping me in line. Well, when I actually go to them for help.” Archie pulled his head back enough to look at Maxie. “So what d'ya say?”

Maxie moved his head. “Of course, Archie.” He paused, wondering if it would be tasteless to verbalize his current question. “Well, can I go get my cigarettes now?”

Archie snorted. “You can go get yer first pack of nicotine gum or patches.”

“Fair enough.”


	7. Cuddles and Angst

Archie stirred awake, leg stuck far into the space Maxie should be in. He stretched his arm and was met with yet more empty and cold space. He sat up with a groan and glanced around. The bathroom was wide open and dark, but light filtered in from underneath the bedroom door.

Archie slid out of bed with a yawn and left the room.

The scent of cigarette smoke assaulted him as he walked down the hallway. ’ _Dammit, Maxie._ ’ He coughed and leaned against the frame of the hallway looking into the living room.

Maxie was perched on the edge of the only chair near a window. A cigarette trailed smoke in his hand while he looked out of the window, gaze distant. Judging by the copious number of cigarette butts in the ash-tray, Archie figured that Maxie was chain-smoking. Again.

“Maxie, why in Arceus’ name are you up at, ” he paused but, finding no clock nearby, continued, “bum-fuck early in the morning?”

Maxie took a drag and glanced down. “Couldn’t sleep, why else would I be awake?” He shifted his attention back to whatever was outside.

Archie huffed and rolled his eyes. “Okay, you difficult son of a bitch, wanna explain why you’re powerin’ through a pack over there?”

“You don’t know?” Maxie shook his head, red strands of hair grazing the cigarette he was lifting back up to his lips. “Of course not. You are awful with dates and I didn’t stick this one on the calendar.” He fell silent and wiped damp eyes on his sleeve.

Archie peeled off the wall and walked over to his partner. Concern and worry overtook his annoyance. “Maxie?” What event had he forgotten? Their anniversary wasn’t for another month and Maxie’s birthday wasn’t until June. (Or was it July?) So what other date could the- oh.

“Happy anniversary to me for nearly destroying the planet!” Maxie laughed, but the sound was choked and hollow.

Archie sighed and climbed into the chair behind Maxie. He wrapped his arms around his partner and nestled his head into the crook of Maxie’s neck. “But the world is fine, Maxie. Everything is fine.” Maxie took another quiet drag of his cigarette. “And you know that little scamp who kept foiling us? I heard they’re the new Champ now!”

Maxie stabbed the cigarette butt into the ash-tray. Archie was never so relieved to see someone not reach for another cigarette, although it seemed the only reason was because the pack was empty.

Maxie pressed his back against Archie. His chest trembled and jerked with sobs. Archie squeezed tighter and, not knowing what else to do, started humming.

_ Just close your eyes _   
_ The sun is going down _   
_ You’ll be alright _   
_ No one can hurt you now _   
_ Come morning light _   
_ You and I’ll be safe and sound _


End file.
